Permission

Hubby is doing great on his exercise routine!  I'm so proud of him!  He makes the time to get his work out in and is trying to eat healthy choices when his muscles demand protein from him.

Me?  I'm not doing so well.  I always seem to have an excuse.  Right now it's, "Well, I've got that seminar all next week, so I might as well not start working out until I get back."  I know.  Excuses.  Poor ones at that.

I've been thinking about how to get back to that mindset I was in back in 2012 when I started this journey.  I was all pumped up and excited and motivated.  I've come to the conclusion that it was because I gave myself "permission" to become wrapped up in myself :  my health, my time, my body.  Me.  Not something mom's do very often.  I had made 2012 the "year of me" and it worked.  I didn't feel guilty because it was my goal. I had permission to think about myself and concentrate on myself.

So since then I've moved on to other things that needed my attention:  my art, my writing, my family.  Once again, I've relegated myself to the back burner to take care of others.

How do I give myself permission to take time away from other things that are important?  My kids are important and I need to concentrate on them.  My work is important.  My husband is important.  And I have still been cooking healthier and eating better, just not with the gusto from 2012.  There I was consumed with myself and it worked - I lost 24lbs.

I need to figure out how to get back that permission when I don't feel so deserving.  Somehow I'm supposed to "just fit it in" around all the other important things.  I already cut back on sleep.  I'm not sure where else I can cut.

So I'll ponder how to grant myself permission to pursue me again.  I'm not sure how to get there with all the guilt that floats around when I do ...