Hit a little bit of a block today.  From a very unexpected source!

I have been trying to think of other exercises I can do to add in to my journey.  I used to do belly dancing and really enjoyed it.  So I was looking around on the internet for some of the dvds I used to use back in the day.  I found that one of them, at least, is on Netflix!  So I was pretty excited about that.  However, Netflix means that it is only available in our house on the TV where the wii is connected.  The living room.  Where everyone tends to congregate. 

So.  At this point of my journey, I don't want an audience as I try to re-learn the art of belly dancing.    My hubby said, "If you do it in the living room, then I can watch you!"  That was a nice comment - made me feel good that he would even want to watch that attempt at this point (unless it was just for the amusement factor ... totally a possibility).  I'm not very comfortable with myself at the moment, though.  And I replied, "When I look like her again, " I said, pointing to the woman on the screen, "then I'll dance for you."

And he said, "We'll be old and dead before you look like that again."  I'm sure it was a joke, but boy it kinda sucker punched me!

So all day today I've been wondering if maybe I CAN'T do this.  Maybe I WILL be old and dead before I'm slim again.  Total roadblock.

Isn't it funny how with all the positive things I've been doing every day, that one small comment almost undid me?  Pretty wild.  Goes to show that a support network only goes so far.

And then I remembered that I'm not doing this for him or for anyone else.  I'm doing it for ME.  And if I believe I can do it, then I will. 

It was just a shock to have what I expected to be my strongest support pulled out from under me.  It almost undid me.  And I'm sure he didn't mean it the way it came out.  And you have to remember, I've failed at weight loss a number of times, so he's just talking from experience.  But isn't it funny how we believe what others say and think over what we know inside ourselves? 

I mean, I was about to self destruct.  If my own husband doesn't believe I can do it, then why should I believe it?  His opinion is one that I've always respected and listened to.  He's a smart guy.  I tend to believe what he says.  And he doesn't think I can do it.  Kind of set me back.

So it was a tough day.  Until I decided to use some of my tools and get myself back on track.  I looked up motivational quotes, pictures and sites on the internet.  I looked at the 52 Weight Loss Missions and worked on some of those tips and tools and got myself refocused. 

And I feel better.  And I AM going to do it.  Sure, it might not be tomorrow, but I'm working on it! 

 

I rode the bike this morning.  Did my planking.  Have I talked about the planking? Not the phenomenon that is all over the world were people make their bodies stiff like a plank and lie on things, but the exercise.  Where you lie on your stomach then get up on your toes and elbows, holding your body straight like a plank for as long as you can ...

I'm telling you - it's brutal.  You are supposed to work up to three sets of three minutes.  Yeah ... right....  I can do three sets of about six seconds!  And then walk around in pain the entire next day!  Which, I guess means it's working! 

So, I've jumped an unexpected obstacle today.  And I've exercised and eaten well.  So, all in all, I'm doing okay today.  Hey - that which does not kill us makes us stronger. 

Today I'm stronger.