Overindulging

So, there is a place and a time for indulging.  I just seem to be doing it every day.

I knew I was going to have trouble with the changing schedule.  Somehow I have to get myself refocused.

One change I will make is going back to my earlier wake up time.  I just have too much to do to sleep late.  This morning I decided I would sleep as long as I wanted since I've been feeling a bit run down and very, very tired.  So I slept late and then had my hour and five minutes to do on the bike and by the time I got done and showered, half the day is gone.  So, that's going to stop. 

I need organization time before all the kids get up.  Once they are up, it's a free-for-all. 

I also need better planning.  When I don't have a plan, everything goes south.  When I don't plan for lunches, we either eat out or eat crappy high-fat/high-calorie food.  When I don't have a plan for dinner, the same thing happens.  I can't tell you all the junk we've eaten over the past week since school has gotten out.  We've eaten out, picked up KFC, ordered out ... just NOT good choices.

And I'm feeling it.  I feel extremely tired.  My body is telling me that although the Kentucky Fried Chicken tasted like heaven, it is sooo not good for me. 

I'm kind of in a funk.  With the constant care of our kitten, getting the oldest daughter ready for her trip to Finland, trying to plan summer activities to keep the kids busy and educate them at the same time AND continue on with all the normal stuff I have to do ... I'm just falling apart.

Today is kind of a wash already so I'll start trying to refocus myself by getting up early tomorrow morning.  I need to plan my menus, grocery list, and work plan for the week. 

I just wish I didn't feel so tired.  It's hard to be motivated when you can barely function.  Maybe I'm not sleeping well or something.  But I have a feeling it's the junk food.  It's getting me down.  The way to test that theory is to get back on a good schedule with the food.

I actually ate well last night.  I made Asian skewers, home grown squash, turnips and green beans from our garden.  So last night was actually good food.  A step in the right direction.

I know there are ups and downs.  Especially since this is a lifetime plan and not a diet.  I knew the changing routine was going to cause problems.  I'll work through it.  I'll get a handle on the new routine and it will all work out!

I just need to make sure my determination stays as strong as always.  With that, anything can happen.

Surviving

Well, school is out and I'm surviving!  I'm even down to 192.6! 

I indulged in the Fiesta food, but ate sparingly.  I still got to enjoy the wonderful foods; I just didn't eat a ton of it like I would have in the "old" days.

I decided to sleep an extra hour in the mornings.  So far there hasn't been any downside to that.  Granted, the extra hour I could get in working would be nice, but I'm feeling so much better just having that extra sleep!  I play that one by ear and decide whether to change back the time or not.

I made some fabulous stuffed 8-ball zucchini squash the other night!  From our garden, no less!  It was rich enough to have been a meal all on it's own, but I made bocca burgers (with pineapple for buns) and baked fries to go along with it.  Really satisfying meal and nicely healthy!

I will post the recipe for the zucchini on my recipe page.  The only "fat" in the recipe was a piece of bacon - I use that a lot for flavor in low calorie meals!

The fiesta food wasn't so healthy, but it was good!

So, I've survived and even managed to lose below 193! (So far ...)

Gained some ...

Well, last weekend really did me in.  I did a LOT of indulging, so I'm up a bit in weight.  I'm back on track this week though, so I will hopefully start losing again.

Then again, today is my 1st grader's party at school.  Tomorrow is our fiesta.  And then is the issue with school being out and my routine changing ...

Scary times!

I think I'm going to try and keep my schedule the same.  Even though I COULD sleep later, I don't think I will.  I can use the extra time to add in more exercises or work more.  I'll see how that works.  I'm basically a very lazy person, though, so it's going to be very hard to wake up that early when I don't have to ...

I'll keep you posted on my struggles. 

Meanwhile, I have found some healthier choices for the fiesta, so that should help some!  And I have found a low calorie drink (depending on how much sugar I have to add) for everyone to enjoy!  I will take pictures and post them at some point.

I can't believe we are already at summer break.  This year is flying by.  So much to do and so little time!  I'm going to try and enjoy the present moment, if I can. 

All I can do is try!

Change

I've talked about change before.  The changes needed to get us started on our journey as well as the changes in our bodies once we start.

That's not what I'm talking about today.

I'm talking about change that could lead us to fall off the wagon.  This week will bring about a change in my schedule.  I am afraid that this change could cause me to get off track.

School ends on Wednesday.  Right now I get up in time to ride the bike so that I can get the kids ready for school and on the bus.  Come Thursday morning, I won't have to do that.  Which means I COULD set the alarm clock for a little later and sleep a bit more  Enticing thought. 

But what if sleeping later means that I lose that edge that makes me get up and ride the bike?  What if having the kids home and having to make lunches for them and have snacks for them in the house means that I'll make bad choices with food myself?

I have been feeling pretty confident lately.  Even cocky.  Thinking that I would be able to keep this lifestyle up forever.  I'm on a roll.

But the roll is only going because I'm on a schedule and in a groove.  That groove is about to get bumpy.  So, how do I make sure I stay on track?  It's a little scary.

I believe I'm up for it.  I believe that I will be able to keep myself on track, but uncertainty is looming. 

This change might actually be a good thing.  I'll have my daughters home with me and we might add in some other exercises, like walking at the park.  But, will I really be able to fit in my bowflex if the kids are demanding my time?

I have to assume I will figure it out.  I have to make sure that my commitment stands and that I keep my determination strong.

I can do this.  I will do this.

Another Pound Down

I weigh 193.0 today - another pound gone! 

I must have hit another tipping point.  I sure hope it keeps up!  That makes 19 lbs lost so far!! 

I've been eating well this week.  Good dinners, smart choices.  And it hasn't even been difficult!  There will be a few bad-choice days coming up, though.  We always have a fiesta on the last day of school, so I'll be making yummy Mexican food.  That will be next Wednesday.  Other than that, I think I have smooth sailing for a while!

Then again, it's more difficult when the kids are home for the summer.  Lots of eating going on.  Lots of snacking while they use up their energy in the pool and playing outside.  And with snacks in the house, my beast tends to come out of hiding.  I think I can do it though.  There are plenty of healthy snacks that I actually like.  And I seem to be craving protein rather than sweets these days anyway.

Tonight I'm making my black bean soup.  It is so good and so decadent that I feel spoiled whenever I make it!  And since it's done in the crock pot, it's fuss-free, too! 

I still have to find time to do my bowflex today.  I went up 10 lbs on everything on Wednesday so it will be a good workout.  I just have to find time to fit it in!  I already took the kitten to the vet (she is starting to show some movement, so that's hopeful!) and I'll be going up to the school for lunch with my littlest one in a bit.  I have a lot more work I need to get done, but I think I'll be able to squeeze in my workout.  It's definitely worth finding the time.  Nothing like weight lifting to sculpt the body.  I can feel the muscles under my fat.  I just can't wait until the fat sheds and I'm left the with muscle!

(Got this off a friend's page at Blog to Lose)

I'm feeling good today.  It's sunny and warm outside and everything feels ... hopeful.

I hope all of you have a terrific day!

Thinking Forward

I have come to the conclusion that attitude is so important on this journey. 

It is so often that we dwell on past mistakes and berate ourselves to the point of failure.  That kind of attitude will not work on a journey that is to be for the rest of our lives.  This isn't a short term thing where we just have to do this "diet" for a set time and then be done with it.

In the past four months there have been several times where I have enjoyed special meals, date nights, celebrations that might not have been the healthiest of choices.  But I looked forward rather than back and I'm down to my lowest weight ever.  I just broke that 195 lb barrier and am at 194.6 today!  All while having enjoyed those celebrations of food.  (In fact, I'm still thinking fondly back on my mother's day dinner at Outback Steakhouse - it was really fantastic - dessert included!).  **edit - I just weighed in and am 194.0!!!**

It's the looking forward that is the key.  There are going to be birthday parties, football tailgating, celebration dinners, etc., for the rest of my life.  And I am going to enjoy them.  That is a part of life - a very happy, wonderful part.  So I'm not going to regret the champagne punch at Christmas or the slice of birthday cake or the decadent prime rib dinner.  I am going to think forward.  To keeping up my exercise routine and eating healthy for the majority of the time.

I am so excited that this is working.  I haven't been this positive about myself in a long, long time.  I remember the sick feeling when I would have to go shopping for new clothes.  It was just so darn depressing.  But not any more!  I'm feeling so good!  And, boy, do I have a long way to go, but that's okay.  I'm losing steadily (if slowly). 
So, if you happen to binge or splurge on food that isn't the wisest choice, think forward.  Don't dwell.  Move on and above all, don't hate yourself for it.  It isn't weakness to indulge.  It's life.

Not Much Better

I am bringing you an update on our kitten.  She is not much better and still is not moving her back legs.  She is taking a lot of care and the doctors have moved on to steroid treatments.  We will have to see.

This is taking a lot of my focus right now, so my weight loss isn't top priority.  However, I am still doing my exercise every day and trying to eat right.  It appears I gained almost a pound over the weekend with all the food, but I enjoyed it all and do not regret it.  I know the pound (plus more) will come off so I'm just focusing forward.

I think what this shows me is that my routine has become so ingrained in me that I keep it up even in times of tragedy.  It's becoming a way of life as opposed to a "diet."  Which is a good thing!

I also had half of a steak on Saturday night.  Hubby took three of the kids to visit his mom and my other daughter and I stayed home to take care of the kitten.  We kept a steak here to enjoy.  I grilled it out and it was fabulous, but being a ribeye, it was very fatty.  I found that after a half of the steak, I just couldn't eat any more - it was too rich and fatty.  I felt a little ill (even though I enjoyed the steak's flavor).

However, being off schedule due to the kitten, I have not made a grocery list for the week yet and it's already Tuesday.  Luckily we have some things still in the freezer and I can wing the dinners (and make them healthy) until I have a chance to do the menu and grocery list!

So, I am just on an even keel with my journey at the moment, and really, I don't think I can ask for anything more!

Tragedy

Our new kitten got hurt last night.  She got caught in the fold up part and now she can't move her legs.  We took her to the emergency vet last night and they say her back is not broken, so that's good news.  They put her on pain medication since she had feeling (also good news) and then we had to wait and see if she could pee on her own.  She did last night.  We take her back in at noon today to see what else can be done.  She still can't move her legs which is so scary to see.

So I'm not up to a weight loss blog today.  I will just note that I am still 195.0 - even after date night.  Although with Mother's Day this weekend, we are going to celebrate twice (today with Hubby's mom and tomorrow for me) and as always, we celebrate with food.

I will report back on the kitten.  It's a very worrisome time right now.

It's All About the Food

I have had some really nice meals over the past few days.  I'd like to report on what I've found!

First, I could not find the 50 calorie tortillas.  I tried two grocery stores, with no luck. However, I did find a 60 calorie tortilla! 

They are Tumaros Gourmet Tortillas - I got these at Kroger.  They were very good and 60 calories for a tortilla???  Awesome!!  This really does open up a lot more in the realm of cooking for me!  We had sandwich wraps in them the other night - lots of shredded lettuce, tomatoes, mustard and sandwich meat - very tasty and very healthy!

Then, I was able to try one of the recipes from the Hungry Girl cookbook!  And let me tell you, if they are all this good, it's going to be one heck of a cookbook!  You can buy them here! 

The recipe I made was the cauliflower casserole - OMG - fantastic!!  And only 117 calories per generous serving!!

And then I also made beef tips with veggies (onions, peppers and mushrooms).  I was able to cook the veggies without any oils added - tasty and low fat!  I grilled the beef tips and then put them in with the veggies for a quick warm up.  So good!!

So tasty!!

In other news, I did my measurements today!  I have lost another 6"!!  Woot!!  Coming off mostly in my thighs and butt - woohoo!!

Hope ya'll have a great day!!

Distracted

Although I am doing pretty well on this journey, I am definitely distracted this month.

Last week was a whirlwind ending in the party with lots of food and alcohol.  I got back on track on Monday, but ate ice cream Monday night and last night, too.  Even though I haven't gained back any weight because of it, it still shows that I am not nearly as focused as I need to be.

I guess I need to add distraction in as one of the potential saboteurs to our journeys.  I'm definitely feeling the lack of focus today.  And, honestly, I'm not really sure how to get back on track.  Because I'm not really OFF track.  I am exercising as I'm supposed to and I'm eating fairly well (well, sort of ... did I mention I went out for Chinese for lunch yesterday??  See?  Distraction!).  But I feel ... off.

I think I need to do what Grace suggested and get back to a list.  I need a master list for the month.  That will help keep me focused.  I also think I need to remember why I started this journey and see if I can recapture some of that energy that we all have when we begin our journeys.  I need some of that zest and zeal rushing through me again.  I'm kind of bored.  And that's a bad thing.

I know!  Maybe I need to go shopping!  I felt soooo good when I went and tried on clothes and found out I was down two sizes!  It was nice to actually feel that I looked good for a change!

Or, I could take a mental day for myself and try to get myself centered.  Our pool is up and running, so maybe I need to take a few hours and just relax in the sun and ... gasp ... read for pleasure!



I also need to think about adding something in to the exercise routine.   I know I keep saying that.  But I don't want my body to get bored either.  Luckily with school ending on the 23rd, I may add walking/jogging into my routine. Two of my kids are wanting to run and maybe if all three of us encourage each other, we can go to the park regularly and run (or more accurately, they will run and I'll puff and pant at a quick pace).

I just know that I've hit a barrier.  And I don't want this bump to knock me off track. 

So, after today (which is another hectic thing at work) maybe I can take some time to plan.  Get myself back on track.  Refocus.

I'm kind of looking forward to it!

Water Weight

Amazingly, after peeing for two days (TMI??), I'm back to the weight I was when I left to go on the trip!  I can't believe it!  I'm still up a bit from my lowest, but I am 196.0 lbs this morning - which is my starting weight for May.  I would have liked to have lost some, but I'm just pleased to be back at that weight with little effort!

The bike was hard this morning. For some reason, it was just really hard to go the full 65 minutes.  I actually did 66 minutes because I was engrossed in my reading!  I did do the bowflex yesterday and it seemed really easy, which is odd since I hadn't had the chance to do the bowflex since last Wednesday, so I expected it to be super hard.  I'm thinking I need to go up on the weight this week.

It is another busy week this week, but I will do my best to keep on track!  I'm trying some new recipes this week - some from the Hungry Girl cookbook I got last week.  I'm very excited to try those!  She recommends some tortillas that are only 50 calories!  Can you believe that??  I hope they taste good because if they do, that opens up a lot more in the cooking arena.  Tonight (assuming I can find the tortillas) we will eat sandwich wraps since today is Field Day for my youngest and tonight is a band concert for my third, so there won't be any time for cooking.  I'll review the tortillas if I can find them!

I'm actually feeling pretty good today!  At some point this week I have to find time to do my measurements.  I don't feel like my waist is losing anything, which is very frustrating, but I do think my arms and legs are.  We'll find out at some point!

Have a great day!

Great Trip!

I had a wonderful time in Virginia!  We ate a lot and drank a lot and celebrated a lot - it was a truly wonderful time!

Now I have to pay for it ... I'm definitely up in weight!  But I have already done my bike riding this morning, so I'm off to a great start!

You would not believe the food!  Did I mention my brother is a chef?? Fantastic food!

 We had lobster:

and prime rib:

And we ate out at Mountain Lake (the place where they filmed Dirty Dancing):

And we had lots of alcohol!  I made up a drink for my mom and it was purple!  I'll see if I can hunt down a picture of it and put it on my recipe page if I can.  I called it the Fabulous Phyllis (my mom is Phyllis) and it was really fun and tasty!  (Unfortunately, none of this was calorie-free!).

But it feels good to be back home and back on track.  I'm slated to do my bowflex today  And it was great that my family all noticed my weight loss and were very proud of me!  I even got hit on at a gas station - lol!

Now we'll have to see how long and hard it will be to work back off my gained pounds.  I'm not sure how much I even gained at this point.  It will take a day or two for my body to even lose all the water weight etc. 

I will keep you guys posted!



I'll Be Back

So, I'm off to Virginia for my mother's 75th birthday!  I may or may not have access to my blog there, so I wanted to just let everyone know where I am if I can't blog!

I hope to post pictures of our dinner when I get back!

Stress Eating

I can't decide if this week is just going to be a wash. 

I made a healthy dinner last night - grilled boca burgers, baked fries and salad.  But I ended up eating three huge helpings of the salad!  With ranch dressing!  I didn't eat the boca burger, but I did have some fries.  I just couldn't stop going back for more salad.

Okay, so salad isn't a horrible thing to binge on, but still.  THREE helpings?  Really?

It's all about the stress.  So much is going on this week and I'm scrambling to figure out how I'm going to manage it all and I just couldn't stop myself from eating.  I'm sure the scale is going to creep up this week.  Especially with lobster and prime rib staring me in the face this weekend!  And eating while on the road - fast food joints, no doubt.  And I won't have my bike when I'm out of town ... ugh.

Well, today I'll get my exercise for sure.  I've already done my bike riding and I've got a ton of shopping to do to get ready for the trip this weekend so I'll be running around all day.  And I will be doing the bowflex at some point, so it will be a good exercise day.  Now if I can just manage not to eat ...

You'd think that now that I'm on a nice steady routine that my beast wouldn't ever come out any more.  But it's still there, just waiting for a weak moment to jump out and scream, "EAT!!!" at me. 

Well, today is all about trying to just a little better than yesterday.  I think I can do that.  Today isn't going to be as stressful as yesterday.  Of course, I tend to stress myself out, so it's possible it will be ...

At any rate, I can focus on all the things I need to do and hopefully that will keep my focus off the food.  I will make it through this week.  And things will be so much simpler once the kids are out of school - which is only 22 days away. 

Anyone have any tips on what they do when stress happens?  I could use some help this week!

Busy Week

Oh, this week is a mess!  So busy!!  I hate not having time to blog!  It makes me feel incomplete.

Things are going okay.  I gained back some weight (probably due to my taste testing of the drinks for my mom's 75th birthday!) so I'm not too happy with that, but it will come off eventually.

My next hurdle is this weekend.  I am going to my mom's for her birthday party and we are going to have lobster and prime rib and all kinds of goodies.  And I'm going to enjoy them all in moderation, but I know I'll be up again in weight from that.

In other news, the new pants I bought for work are already falling off me.  I kept having to pull them up today at work.  Maybe I'm losing inches.  I sure hope so!  I'll measure again next week, so we'll see then!

I've got to post my April graph for my weight loss.  It looks like I lost 4.4 lbs over the course of the month.  Not bad.  I wish it were more, but I'll take it!

Well, I don't have time to stay and chat, but I'll try and come back tomorrow and actually write something more in depth!