I know it's the food. I haven't been able to control myself lately. I've been giving in to that easy road and eating whatever is fastest and easiest. Even when I make healthy dinners, I can't stop my portion size or going back for seconds (and thirds and sometimes fourths). I'm just having a really hard time getting myself back in the game and being serious about what I eat. My mind is constantly saying, "Well, it's just one piece of nut bread ... it won't really matter." Well, it does matter. And it's adding up.
I've got to re-energize myself on this journey. I hate it when I'm out of control, which is what I am right now. And I'm a control freak so it's really bad for my mental health when I do this.
I'm just not sure how to make myself refocus. I think I'll go back to using a lot of the apps I had used early on. Maybe that will help. And I really, really need to get back to tracking what I eat. I do very well in the morning and early afternoon, and then once the kids get home, it all goes to hell. I need to plan it all out so that when the unexpected happens, it doesn't have to mess with my meals.
I'm very frustrated. I don't understand why I can't seem to get myself together. Last year at this time I was determined and focused. I just can't seem to get there right now.
I'm not giving up. I will find a way. I have no court this week, so that will help with the meal preparations and having a bit of time to try different things to get myself back on track.
I'm just so tired all the time. I'll do some thinking and some research and if I come up with something that works for me, I'll report it here. I'll try to do something every day to reaffirm my commitment to this.
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