Negativity.

So, how are we supposed to stop being mean to ourselves when we can't seem to eat properly for even one day??  We aren't supposed to be negative or have negative self-talks, but geesh!  It's hard not to when I can't even manage to stay on track for one day!

I think I did well one day this week and I actually lost 1.8 lbs that night.  Other than that, I've just been eating and eating!  What is my problem???  I guess if I could figure that out, I wouldn't have a problem!

Maybe I need some negativity.  I  certainly seem to deserve it at the moment.  I made cake for Easter and have eaten a piece every night but one since then.  It had M&Ms on top of it and kit kat bars around the edges.  Good cake, but really?  Do I have no self control??  Luckily it's almost gone, so that will be one less temptation in the house.  At least until the kids make brownies or something ...

And I never did plan a menu this week.  That's part of the problem.  If I plan the menu every Monday, then I do much better.  Since I didn't, we ate out several times - KFC last night.  And I had TWO pieces of chicken.  I don't even know why!

What is it going to take to get me back on track??

I know the cleanse is part of the issue.  I'm sooooo tired.  Once I'm done, I'll feel better.  Rejuvenated.  Maybe that will help.

Here is my plan:  do better on the menu front, try not to eat the extra goodies that find their way into our house, try to control my portions, keep up the exercise.

Is it enough?  I'm not sure, but it's a start.

And I suppose I can give myself a teensy break.  It has been rough since my surgery and I'm still not back to normal.  In fact, I'm wondering if something might be wrong, but we'll have to wait and see on that.  I'm just not feeling well, and it's hard to be focused and excited about losing weight when you don't feel well.  But then again, that's an excuse, isn't it?  I'm good at coming up with those.

Maybe I'm going through a stage where I need to get my mental self back in order before I can get my body self there.  Food has always been comfort, so it's very, very hard to deny comfort food when I'm feeling poorly.

All I can do is try.  Today is a new day.  I'll give it my all ...