This month was a wash ...

I totally did not accomplish anything in my journey this month.  It was a struggle.  I knew the change in schedule was going to cause me problems, but I thought I had it under control.

I just got back from a seminar and ate and drank a lot while there.  I just didn't have the motivation to try and make good choices. 

Next week is vacation for the 4th.  I'm sure more eating and bad choices will be had.

The good news is that I have not gained a ton of weight back.  I am fluxuating between 191 and 193 and I'll take that any day.  Of course, it would have been nice to lose another 4 -5 lbs this month, but I'll take not gaining back a bunch based on my behavior.

Another good thing is that I kept up the bike riding.  I've been very faithful with that, which is probably why I didn't gain back the weight.

So, my plan is that after vacation I am going to buckle down and get back on track.  I really want to get back into my weight lifting again.  Losing the weight isn't going to give me the body I want - I need to muscle tone for that.  So even with this summer schedule, I've got to figure out a way to keep that up.

And on the days I can in the mean time, I will prepare the good meals and try and make the good choices.  Tonight I am making turkey burgers, so I'll still get the fun feel of summer with a healthy meal choice.  And the garden is still providing lots of nice, tasty, healthy veggies! 

I'm going to hang in there and try to bring my life back under control when I get back from vacation!

Getting it out of My System

I am in a much better place today than I have been for the past week or so.

Last night we had a bit of a Harry Potter marathon.  In the old days, we used to have "Big Bed Night" where we would all climb on our king sized bed and watch movies.  I would buy candy and treats and just plain old junk food and we'd have a grand movie night.  Last night was a bit of the same.  I went out and got a bunch of junk food and we watched the movies and ate and had some great family time.

Today I feel better.  I feel my fire coming back.  Maybe that was just what I needed - a good dose of unhealthy bad choices for a night to get it all out of my system and back on track.

I'm thinking this may not be a bad way to get ourselves back on track when we lose our way.  A built in "bad choices day" might just be the key to keeping us on track.  Sounds kind of backwards, doesn't it? 

But it actually makes sense.  I was slipping.  I kept making slight bad choices, but not enough to really blow anything.  And it was making me feel a bit of a failure.  I was hanging on, but barely.  Every day I was doing something that was not a good choice and it was bringing me down, even though I was still losing weight.  But after last night, where I just went all out and ate whatever I wanted, I feel better!  I have no desire to eat any of that stuff today.  I'm ready to work out, eat right and get back on track!

Who knew?

Hopefully this renewed feeling of determination will last a while.  And hopefully when I start to slide next time, I'll remember this and go ahead and give in to a day of decadence to get it out of my system and move on!

Here's hoping.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Losing my Determination

I feel like I've hit a slump.  And I can't really figure out why.  I'm still losing weight - finally broke 192 and am at 191.4.  I'm still riding my bike every day and doing the bowflex most of the time.

But that determination that has been my undercurrent of support feels like it is slipping away.  I'm tired.  It's hard to keep this up right now. 

Just a few weeks ago I was saying how easy it was.  So why does it feel so hard right now?  I feel a lack of purpose right now.  I feel kind of lackadaisical about it all. 

And that just won't do. 

I need to get my fire back.

It's just hard when I have so many other things to do.  I need to catch up on work.  I have a ton of veggies in the garden that need to be picked.  I need to work with the kids on homework for the summer to get them ready for the next school year.  I need to do crafts with the kids so that they have fun this summer.  I need to get the pool shocked so they can swim - which means going to the pool store to pick up the shock.  I have so much to do I just feel drained thinking about it.

But, I have a plan.

Back when I first started this journey, I spent a lot of time thinking about how to attack my weight issues and I read a lot of blogs and inspiring quotes and searched for pictures to help me be motivated.  And I wrote a lot on the blog.

So, I am going to go back and re-read my blog.  I'm going to go read all the blogs I have been following and I'm going to find new pictures to inspire me and post them around the house. 

I know I have a bunch of other things I need to do and it seems a bit selfish to spend time on this, but I think it's important.  I have to make time for this.  My health is too important to just let slip away. 

So, help me out and encourage me.  I need it right now!

Veggies

I am having some help with my journey from our very own garden!  All our produce is coming in so we are eating very well - lots of low calorie veggies to feast on!  And I'm losing weight again!  So that's a good thing!

I don't usually come off a weekend with weight lost - especially when that weekend included a date night!  So I'm pretty happy.  I'm hoping this week will be a good one.

I'm still having issues drinking enough water.  I know it's key in this journey, but I just can't seem to remember to drink enough.  I'll work on that this week.

I only have one court date this week, so things aren't so hectic.  I should be able to maintain good choices.  Especially if I can get the menu and grocery list done asap.

I also need to get back on my weight lifting schedule.  I didn't make it at all last week.  Another goal I need to work on this week.

So ... drink more water, make the menu/grocery list and otherwise plan for wise choices, and get back to weight lifting again.  I think I can handle that!

Maintaining

First, let me say I'm sorry for being away for so long.  I've had a rough week or so with trials days back to back.  I have been lucky to know whether I'm coming or going!

Which means not-so-good things on the diet front.  When work is like that, everything else kind of takes a back seat.

This is not to say that I've given up completely on the healthy journey.  I have been riding the bike every morning.  I have not had a chance to do my bowflex this week at all.  I'm hoping to be able to do that today.  And I'm maintaining my weight around 193-194.  So, not so bad.

What this does tell me is that I should be fine at maintaining my weight once I reach my goal.  It has not been difficult at all to stay right where I am.  I think as long as I ride the bike, I'll be fine.  It's funny, though, because I've always heard that food is the major important factor in losing weight.  I am finding that it is exercise instead. 

This week I've eaten a lot.  When work puts the kind of stress on me that I've been under, there is no way I have time to organize and cook.  We ate out and I believe I had a drink of wine every night.  Lots of empty calories (comfort food for my time of stress).  And I've maintained.

Granted, my goal here is to lose.  I still have a very looooong way to go, so maintaining isn't a great thing.  But in the over-all picture, it kind of is.  If I can maintain when my world is falling apart, that bodes quite well for the future!

So, I'm optimistic.  And I'm back. No more court until the 14th and 25th.  However, I then have to deal with a 3-day conference - eating out for three days - all three meals.  Scary.  Hopefully the facility will have some kind of exercise room, though I doubt I'll have time to even look for it even if they do.

I feel like I'm surviving one diet catastrophe after another - just surviving until the next food-fest-of-evil hits me.  I guess that's going to be the way it is.  I just need to try and eat and exercise as best as I can in between those moments.

Today is about getting back organized again.  I have a lot of garden work to do.  We are going to start freezing fresh veggies today.  We have a ton of vegetables coming in.  And I have to get the pool back up and running. It's a bit green from my lack of attention over the past week +.

So, have a wonderful productive day out there!